Personal posts

It’s Friday, I’m in…a Funk

August 12, 2022 — Leave a comment

Not the best blog title, but it matches my mood.

A little over two weeks ago, I went to Atlanta for the Freaks on Parade Tour. The show was my early birthday gift from one of my best friends, and it was everything I could have hoped for. I had waited 20 years to see Powerman 5000, Static-X, and Mudvayne – and though Rob Zombie wasn’t who I was there for, his set was fun. (John 5 stole the show, in my opinion, but I’m biased: I’ve loved him since he was with Manson.)

I even have an entire sob story about my past attempt to see Mudvayne. I won tickets to the Summer Sanitarium Tour that featured them, Deftones, Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, and, of course, Metallica. Well, we arrived late and missed all of Mudvayne’s set. Then they broke up and I never thought I’d see them live. But I got to see them on their first tour back together!

After the show, I took a chance and messaged one of the guitarists from Powerman 5000 on Facebook. I just made the simple statement that I would have liked to have met him, but maybe next time. He replied “Have you left yet?” and after a short exchange, he made his way to the entrance of the Live Nation Lounge to say hi. I was over the moon. Yeah, he’s not an original member of the band, but who cares? I still met a member of PM5K 🙂

I put a filter on him and he said he didn’t even care that it made him “girl pretty.” Lol.

But since then… I dunno. I’ve been depressed. I’m not super happy at work, my love life is non-existent, my best friend of 20 (almost 21) years is all the way in Kentucky, my brother is in Colorado. And maybe some of it has to do with my birthday being this week. I didn’t bat an eyelash when I turned 30, but for some reason, 35 is bothering me more than it should.

So I’m posting this blog in the hopes that writing it all out will help, or perhaps one of my readers will have some sage advice on how to deal with getting older. Just don’t say “you’re still young!” I’ve heard that a lot recently and it doesn’t make me feel any better.

I hope everyone else is having a fantastic August! The next thing I have to look forward to is jury duty. Woohoo…

Unproductive Week

July 24, 2022 — Leave a comment

I feel like I didn’t achieve much this week. I worked a lot, and attempted to discuss some issues with my superiors but got absolutely nowhere. I did laundry – even folded it and put it away within 24 hours! Lol.

My biggest achievement was probably getting my dad’s birthday gift taken care of. See, whenever possible, I like to take my parents to concerts for things such as birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s/Father’s Day, etc. Well, Brother Cane is coming to town two days before my dad’s birthday, and Dad has been a big fan of them for years. He and my brother have seen Damon Johnson, but Dad has never had the chance to see the full band. I’m not sure how many original members remain; however, now that they’ve reunited and decided to tour, I couldn’t let the opportunity pass. So Mom and I are taking him to the show.

On a personal high note: my employees gave me an award this week for “building strong relationships” and “always putting my employees first.” Normally the awards come from upper management, but two of my employees asked if they could personally present me with one. It’s the most meaningful thing I have received since I started working there a little over two years ago ❤️

I hope this post finds all of you well, and that your weeks are going better than mine. Surely next week will be an improvement. After all, I am going to stay with a friend in Georgia and we’re going to see Powerman 5000, Static-X, Mudvayne, and Rob Zombie!

My Kentucky Vacation (June 2022)

June 17, 2022 — Leave a comment

I spent four days in Kentucky with my best friends this week. They moved up there just over a year ago, and it’s been really hard. I miss them like crazy!

It was nice to get away, if only for a short while. We went out and explored some areas of interest, including the historical community of West Point and a pet cemetery that was on the way to Shepherdsville. But our big adventure was a trip to Bernheim Forest.

If you don’t know about this forest, it is located in Clermont and covers more than 16,000 acres. It is a wildlife sanctuary, an arboretum, a campsite. There are miles and miles of trails to hike and things to see. What Bernheim Forest has become known for, though, is the giants.

Created by Thomas Dambo, the trio of giants are made from local recycled wood and are positioned throughout the area. It was an absolute delight discovering each one, though the map we were given at the entrance left something to be desired – it took us much longer to find the last two giants than it should have. Still, there was plenty to do along the way.

If you’re ever in the area, I would highly recommend a visit to Bernheim Forest. We had a lot of fun, and my friends’ kids loved the giants!

James Young Family Cemetery
A marker showing the water levels of past floods. Check out 1937!
Little Nis, the son
Mama Loumari
Little Elina, the daughter
The view at the end of the Canopy Walk
The Spirit Nest
The memorial for Bernheim

Motivation Monday – Andy Black: “Put The Gun Down”

June 6, 2022 — Leave a comment

I mentioned this song two weeks ago. I am not a huge Andy Black fan. I used to love Black Veil Brides, but Andy’s solo stuff has just never tickled my fancy. However, “Put The Gun Down” hit me with roughly the force of a tank. It remains one of my go-to tracks whenever I’m feeling low.

You can listen here and read the lyrics below. I think this is a message we’ve all needed at some point in our lives.

“Put The Gun Down”

Here’s where it starts
Another night alone in the dark
Hate is running through my veins
Steady now I’m takin’ aim
The darkness of day
All the skies are turning to gray
I can’t tune the voices out
How’d they get so Goddamn loud?
‘Cause there’s a side
Another side of me that can’t get out
A darker side that no one knows about

Can anybody hear me?
Can anybody see me?
‘Cause I think I lost my way
Put the gun down, just put the gun down
Will anybody watch me?
Is someone gonna stop me?
This could be my last mistake
Put the gun down, just put the gun down

Here’s where it ends
I’m never going back there again
‘Cause every time I’m standin’ by
The shadow’s in my line of sight
When does it stop?
‘Cause I’m livin cold and shut off
Even when I clench my fists
It’s slipping through my fingertips
‘Cause there’s a piece
There’s a piece of me that’s missing now
Yeah there’s a piece of me that’s breakin down

Can anybody hear me?
Can anybody see me?
‘Cause I think I lost my way
Put the gun down, just put the gun down
Will anybody watch me?
Is someone gonna stop me?
This could be my last mistake
Put the gun down, just put the gun down

That’s when I look myself in the mirror
Now I’m seeing things a little clearer
Honest I can’t hide what’s inside me
I said I’m tired of pointing the finger
Tired of this hand holding the trigger
Now I’m done with that
I gotta take one step back
Can anybody

Can anybody hear me?
Can anybody see me?
‘Cause i think i lost my way
Put the gun down, just put the gun down
Will anybody watch me?
Is someone gonna stop me?
This could be my last mistake
Put the gun down, just put the gun down

Here’s where it starts
Another night alone in the dark
Hate is running through my veins
Steady now I’m takin’ aim

Motivation Monday – Alter Bridge: “My Champion”

May 30, 2022 — Leave a comment

If there is one thing Myles Kennedy can do (besides everything), it’s pen an encouraging song that hits you right in the feelings. The first time I ever listened to Alter Bridge’s “My Champion,” I cried. The lyrics are so beautiful, and I often listen to this song to remind myself that I’m where I’m supposed to be.

My favorite line? Well, it’s a full phrase within a longer lyric. “…your destiny is not defined by what you’ve failed to see…” I think that is such an important thing to remember.

So for anyone out there who is currently struggling or doubting choices you’ve made or where you’re headed, crank this one loud. And commit these words to heart.

“My Champion”

May this be your victory song
A song for you when I am gone
Reminding you of what you’re meant to be

A gift to bring you clarity
To show you that your destiny
Is not defined by what you’ve failed to see, no

May this lift you up
When you feel you’ll fall again
You cannot win, oh
Hope these words are enough
For you to be strong, my friend

Sometimes you fall before you rise
Sometimes you lose it all to find
You’ve gotta keep fighting, and get back up again
My champion
Oh, my champion

You’ve lost so many times it hurts
But failures made are lessons learned
‘Cause in the end what you are will be much more
Than you were

May this lift you up
When you feel you’ll fall again
You cannot win, oh
Hope these words are enough
For you to be strong, my friend

Sometimes you fall before you rise
Sometimes you lose it all to find
You’ve gotta keep fighting, and get back up again
My champion

Don’t ever run away
For every fear you face
You will survive and be much more
Than you were, oh

Sometimes you fall before you rise
Sometimes you lose it all to find
You’ve gotta keep fighting, and get back up again

The world’s gonna try and knock you out
Just pick yourself up when you go down
You’ve gotta keep fighting, and get back up again
My champion
Oh, my champion

My champion
My champion

Resting Beach Face

May 30, 2022 — Leave a comment

The level to which I need a beach vacation is getting alarming. I have some time off in June and I was gonna visit my friends in Kentucky, but the palm trees, white sand, and blue water are all calling my name. I might have to drive south…

In the meantime, here are a few pictures that are making my longing for the beach even worse. Clearly I like to torture myself by looking at these. Lol. I really do think I was a mermaid in a past life.

These two are actually from the last time I went to a beach. The others are finds from a Google search.

Motivation Monday – Alter Bridge: “I Know It Hurts”

May 23, 2022 — Leave a comment

A few years ago, I went through a very serious depression. This is not me saying I am clinically depressed, but for several months I was miserable and there was nothing I could pinpoint and say “This is the cause, now I can work through it.” I basically woke up one day and couldn’t shake the feeling.

I tried a lot of things to cheer myself up, hoping to snap out of it and return to my normal, but nothing worked. My brother flew out to visit during this time and I felt okay only once while he was here: when he and I were riding around listening to music and not talking.

I found that certain songs granted temporary relief, and one of those was “I Know It Hurts” from Alter Bridge’s ABIII. I would play it on repeat, a single line jumping out at me every time –

“Now is not forever.”

The lyric stuck with me through my remaining dark days and after. In fact, it resonated so much that it was my first tattoo. (And yes, I have since had the chance to tell Mark Tremonti about it, though I couldn’t show him because it was too cold to take off my hoodie.)

So, much like last week, I wanted to share this song with anyone who might need it. You can check it out here, and I am posting the lyrics below.

“I Know It Hurts”

And you say this ain’t living
You say you can’t go on
You only take as you’re given
And now your hope is all but gone

Though you lost your way: now is not forever
But I know your pain

We all fall sometimes, you’re not the first
But I know it hurts, yeah I know it hurts
In the end you’ll find what you deserve
Still I know it hurts, yeah I know it hurts

There are tides slowly rising, the storm is on its way, yeah
But you can’t keep on fighting, so battered, worn, and so afraid
Though it’s sad and wrong, I hope you will remember: you must carry on

We all fall sometimes, you’re not the first
But I know it hurts, yeah I know it hurts
In the end you’ll find what you deserve
Still I know it hurts, yeah I know it hurts

There’s still tomorrow, hold on, hold on
There’s still tomorrow, just wait, just wait
There’s still tomorrow, hold on, hold on

We all fall sometimes, you’re not the first
But I know it hurts, yeah I know it hurts
In the end you’ll find what you deserve
Still I know it hurts, yeah I know it hurts

Today Was My Monday

May 19, 2022 — Leave a comment

And I felt it, starting at 4:15 a.m.

I woke up with my alarm, rolled out of bed, and stepped just beyond my bedroom door, straight onto a hairball. I guess Marceline was leaving me a message, but I have no clue what I did to piss her off. (She’s shedding terribly at the moment, and she tends to pull out hair, so I know the cause of the hairball itself, just not the location.)

Marceline, otherwise known as Queen of the Hair Ball

By the time I cleaned up and got ready, I was running late. I’m responsible for opening and it was a near miss, yet I had everything done on time.

The first half of my shift wasn’t that bad. Then I went on my lunch break and managed to dump half of my five cheese ziti down my front. -face palm- So then I had to clean that up and finish my day with tomato sauce on my shirt, pants, and shoes (yeah, I made a mess).

Luckily, some of my favorite coworkers were there and spared me from an even worse day. I came home, took a short nap, and fixed dinner. Now I have showered and am half-asleep and I get to do it all over again tomorrow…hopefully minus the hair ball and the loss of most of my lunch to the floor. Lol.

On the bright side: I bought tickets to see Ghost, Mastodon, and Spiritbox, so I guess it wasn’t all bad.

I hope this post finds all of you well, and that your Wednesday was just a Wednesday. Oh, and because I know he’d hate to be left out: here is my other baby, Vlad.

He’s a furry jerk, but at least he doesn’t hack up hairballs right outside my door.

Motivation Monday – Shinedown: “Unity”

May 16, 2022 — Leave a comment

I have played this song a thousand times in the last two weeks. It’s amazing to me how a song you’ve known for a long time can suddenly speak to you on an entirely different level. After a conversation about what I want out of life with a musician – and his question “What’s stopping you?” – I guess the line And your moment of truth is the day that you say “I’m not scared” just hit harder.

Y’all can watch the video here. I’m just going to share the lyrics for anyone who might need to read them today.

“Unity”

I found a note with your name
And a picture of us
Even though it was framed
And covered in dust
It’s the map in my mind that sends me on my way

They say it’s never too late
To stop being afraid
And there is no one else here
So why should I wait?
And in the blink of an eye, the past begins to fade

So have you ever been caught in a sea of despair?
And your moment of truth is the day that you say “I’m not scared”

Put your hands in the air
If you hear me out there
I’ve been looking for you day and night
Shine a light in the dark
Let me see where you are
‘Cause I’m not gonna leave you behind

If I told you that you’re not alone
And I show you this is where you belong
Put your hands in the air
One more time

I’ve seen a million miles
Met a million faces
Took all I knew
To reach all these places
And I’d do it again
If it brings me back to you

So have you ever been caught in a sea of despair?
And your moment of truth is the day that you say “I’m not scared”

Put your hands in the air
If you hear me out there
I’ve been looking for you day and night
Shine a light in the dark
Let me see where you are
‘Cause I’m not gonna leave you behind

If I told you that you’re not alone
And I show you this is where you belong
Put your hands in the air
One more time

Put your hands in the air

Put your hands in the air
If you hear me out there
I’ve been looking for you day and night
Shine a light in the dark
Let me see where you are
‘Cause I’m not gonna leave you behind

If I told you that you’re not alone
And I show you this is where you belong
Put your hands in the air
One more time
Put your hands in the air
One more time

Colorado (In Pictures)

April 7, 2022 — Leave a comment

We almost missed our first flight, our second one was delayed (because some genius put us on a plane that wasn’t equipped to fly/land in snowy conditions, despite the fact that we were headed to Colorado Springs), and my mom had a mild case of elevation sickness on our third day there. Other than that, the trip to visit my brother and his wife was an absolute success!!!! I had visited last year, but we didn’t get to do a lot of sightseeing, and this was Mom’s first trip – and first time flying. The whole area is so beautiful. (Raton, New Mexico, wasn’t that impressive, though. Lol.)

We’re both dying to go back already. I’m aiming for some time during the summer so we can get out and explore a little more. Below are pictures I took during our excursions, and one from the plane because I’m that person 🙂

This was captured about 10 minutes from DFW
Driving towards Trinidad
The Raton sign
Scenic overlook coming into Colorado from New Mexico
Their cat, Hanzo, who was sad because we wouldn’t allow him in the guest room