updates

Life Update: Why I’ve Been Inactive

August 7, 2025 — Leave a comment

I guess it started with the panic attack.

I had never had a panic attack, but there I was at work and suddenly, it was like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I couldn’t draw a full breath and I was jittery. I wanted to crawl out of my skin.

It wasn’t long after that I decided to put the blog on hiatus. I was constantly feeling like I couldn’t breathe when I was at work. And yes, there were a lot of things to be stressed about, but no more than usual. I thought maybe I could deal with the job stuff if I wasn’t putting pressure on myself to post here every day.

Then, it got worse. I was unhappy at work. I cried more times than I care to admit. My boss gave me a two week unpaid leave of absence, hoping the break would help. However, at this point, it was no longer just work. I was miserable, period.

I didn’t care about anything. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and each time I tried, I couldn’t hold onto the conversation. I wanted to sleep all the time. If I hadn’t had to go back to work, I’m pretty sure I would have simply laid in bed and done nothing. That mental state made my job much harder.

I hid out at my best friends’ place, and I sought solace with a coworker who is fast becoming one of my favorite people. These respites were a blessing, but they weren’t going to solve the bigger issue.

So now I’m on a low dose of an antidepressant. It seems to be helping. I’m not as stuck in my own head as I was. I’m not really happy, either. I’m just…here. Existing.

I don’t feel that I’m ready to come back to blogging full-time. I miss writing, though. I’m still keeping up with the 2025 playlist because I owe that to all the musicians out there, and I just updated my reading challenge. (I hadn’t done that since May.)

In other news, my birthday is this week! My best friend is going to spoil me with dinner and painting and horror movies and swimming. We’re gonna get dolled up when we go out; I bought a new dress and everything!

I hope this post finds all of you well, and I hope I’ll get motivated to start blogging again soon. Maybe seeing Carbonstone in September will help with that…

25 Years in the Making…

April 8, 2024 — Leave a comment

Hello, all, and welcome to my new subscribers! One thing you will quickly come to realize is that I always say I’m going to do regular life updates here, then I never do. I guess I just don’t think I’m that interesting, so I never do personal posts unless something exciting is going on.

Which means…

Something exciting is going on!!!!

2024 is shaping up to be a year of awesome tours, whatever your preference may be. For me, this is looking to be the year of nostalgia.

First, I posted on Facebook, semi-joking about driving up to Nashville for Creed and my friend from Georgia was like “Or I can take you to the show in Atlanta.” So, I’ll be seeing 3 Doors Down, Mammoth WVH, and Creed in December.

Then, last week, I reminded my dad about a promise he made in 2016. He said if Marilyn Manson came close and I bought the tickets, he’d get me to the show. Well, that year Manson actually played in Birmingham, but I chose not to go (long story). Now, however, Manson will be in Nashville four days after my birthday – and, much to my delight, Dad’s promise still stands!

Y’all have to understand why seeing Marilyn Manson is such a big deal for me. I have been a fan for 25 years and I have never managed to attend one of his concerts. I was too young when my brother introduced me to his music, and soon after, Manson was banned from Birmingham. (It wasn’t a statewide ban, but seriously, where else in Alabama would he play?) As stated, he was able to book shows in Birmingham in 2016 and 2017, but circumstances were against me and I had to skip them.

Finally. Finally, I will be seeing Marilyn Manson. And I. Can’t. Fucking. Wait.

My dad regrets that promise. Lol. He’s not a Manson fan. He doesn’t hate him or anything, he just thinks he’s boring. My mom would probably enjoy the show, but unfortunately, she started having seizures in December 2022. She hasn’t been officially diagnosed with anything yet, and she has been to a concert without incident since then, so it would probably be okay. However, when she asked her neurologist, she was advised against live shows. And honestly, I would never want to put her through that. Neither of us was thinking when we went to see Shinedown. Or, more accurately, I was under the impression she hadn’t had a seizure since January and the concert was in April. She was put on a fairly high dosage of an anticonvulsant at the end of last year and seems to have things under control, but again, I will do everything in my power not to put her in a situation that triggers a seizure. I’ve held her hand through a few, and it’s scary.

Anyway. That’s my big news. As for the rest of my life… I work and come home. Haha! Y’all know how it is.

I hope this post finds all of you well, and I hope positive things are happening for you in 2024!!!!!

P.S. – Manson looks good again! Well. He looks good for him.

My Lack of Posts

October 11, 2019 — Leave a comment

I didn’t share a new music post on Sunday; there have been no updates to the playlist challenge and no featured band or album of the week. I’m pretty sure there won’t be any posts next week, either. I apologize to the followers who actually pay attention, but everything kinda went to hell recently.

My grandmother has been sick and in the nursing home for a while. She was diagnosed with COPD and congestive heart failure years ago. Otherwise, though, she was healthy.

She has had stomach issues her entire life, and for the last couple of years she’s been in and out of the hospital, complaining of nausea and pain. Well, last week she was once again in the hospital for those symptoms. Her doctor told her that there was nothing else he could do unless she allowed them to do an endoscopy and actually figure out why she had those symptoms. She refused the procedure. My mom asked her why and my grandmother said she didn’t want to know. If it was serious, she felt like they couldn’t help her anyway. (Bear in mind, she’s 89.)

My mom and I both talked to her last Wednesday, right after she was released from the hospital and sent back to the nursing home. The very next day, my great aunt called and told us that she was dying.

She is in the final stages of COPD and congestive heart failure. Her lungs are filled with fluid. She is no longer responsive, though that could be because they are keeping her dosed with morphine for the pain. She has a DNR in place, so basically they can do nothing but make sure she’s comfortable.

I ask that anyone who reads this send up a prayer, positive thoughts, or whatever it is you do. This is a very difficult time, especially for my mom, and we need all the comfort we can get.

Thank you.