I’m not going to call this a review, but I just had to post about this film. I said I was gonna write more about movies this year, after all.

I had to let the movie percolate for a couple of days, and now I’m ready to share my thoughts. (No spoilers, I promise!)

For those of you who don’t know, here’s a short synopsis of the film from IMDb.

“A young couple travels to a remote island to eat at an exclusive restaurant where the chef has prepared a lavish menu, with some shocking surprises.”

When I saw the preview, I was intrigued. I love Ralph Fiennes, first and foremost, and I could easily picture him in the role of a creepy – perhaps murderous – chef. Plus, I had my own assumptions of what the twist would be once the trip went horribly wrong, as it so clearly was going to. Even believing that it was going to be semi-predictable, I still wanted to watch it.

I’ll start by saying up front that my assumption was wrong. I was actually pretty far off. However, and I mean this humbly, my semi-predictable idea would have been better than the reality.

The Menu wasn’t bad, per se, it simply…lacked any excitement. The characters weren’t very likable (except, ironically, the “evil” chef), and it was a story that’s been done before numerous times in numerous settings. There were no shocking moments, or perhaps I’m just immune at this point. It became obvious early on who would survive, and I don’t even want to talk about the absurdity of how that happened.

IMDb categorized The Menu as a “horror, comedy, thriller.” It is none of these things. It wasn’t scary, nor even the least bit creepy. It wasn’t thrilling. And the comedic bits fell flat.

As you can probably tell, I was not impressed. This is one I’m glad I missed in theaters; I would have demanded my money back. Lol.

This isn’t a review, but I would rate this film a 2 out of 5, and the 2 can be attributed only to Fiennes and the performance by Hong Chau, who plays Elsa. It’s watchable, I suppose, so I won’t advise against watching it. However, definitely get it on HBO Max or something.